Fantasy Lock Picking Machines
Posted by Chris Dangerfield on
Over the years people have sent me idea after idea for lock picking tools, with each one believing their invention is going to sell a million, make them rich, and change the face of lock picking the world over. A spring-loaded bump-hammer, a (real) feather tension tool, and a little kit to make your own nitroglycerin for those really tough (!) locks are some of the more memorable ones. And yet, mock though I may, I too have spent more time than necessary inventing all manner of weird and not so wonderful lock picking devices.
A little something I'm working on.
So here's a glimpse into that dark part of my brain where lock picking tools are invented, reconsidered, and frequently dumped. And who knows, perhaps one day these will exist and you can say you saw it here first. Hmm, we'll see....
1 - Mini Electric Pick Gun.
OK - from the outset this one seems delicious! An electric Pick Gun the size of say a pen, or a jacknife. That would be lovely, right? We all know Electric Pick Guns are lock picking machines, these things open locks. There's nothing fancy, no skill to learn, no art to indulge, insert, pull trigger, open lock. So the idea of a little discreet one that fits in the palm of your hand is a dream. A dream that came....untrue. The first problem was the battery. A small 18650 like we use in vapes is already bigger than a jacknife, then there's the motor, the housing - and before you know it you have..... an electric pick gun, the like of which we already have. So I decided to scrap the battery, and use an elastic band, that you would wind up super tight, and get about 5 seconds of power. No motor, just a little cog that would flick a needle rapidly for a few seconds. You see the problem? We started with a Mini Electric Pick gun, and we're already at an elastic band and a cog - it's much like a child's toy, and has a lock opening potential of about zero. SCRAPPED!
There you go - pop a picking needle in there, sorted!
2 - Nano Bots
Nano technology is continually growing - and 'growing' in this context is getting smaller. Nano bots are tiny machines (and I mean tiny, they can go through the eye of a needle in the hundreds). Now imagine these little robots have been trained to pick locks? Imagine they have had a change to learn through so amazingly advanced internal Artificial Intelligence by putting them in similar locks so they know what needs doing. Imagine turning up to a job and simply blowing a load of Nano Bots into a keyway with a straw. 2 minutes later the lock is ready to turn, and the door opens. Well, 'imagine' is the operative word here, because I had a look on Amazon and Nano Bots aren't readily available, let alone one I could train with AI. SCRAPPED!
These are not the nano bots I am looking for.
3 - Multi Lock Sputnik
If you don't know already, the Sputnik is an incredibly cool lock picking tool designed and made by my friend and lock picking genius Oliver Diederichsen. It's a took based around using wires to push pins. 6 Wires are pushed through a central core and then distributed into the lock along a blade, where they come out. The blade is inserted into the lock and the wires are manipulated from the outside, raising and dropping as you wish until each pin is set and the lock opens. It's a great tool...However, at present they are limited to a particular lock type. So you can get a Sputnik for say GE-GE, or YALE, or LEGGE, but man, I dream of a Sputnik that works across all lock brands, and as yet, Oliver says No! SCRAPPED!
The incredible Sputnik.
4 - Lever Lock Air Powered Sputnik
I literally conceived of this tool in a dream. A Sputnik-like tool, but instead of wires we're controlling air through the many controlling tubes. The wires of a Sputnik wouldn't be powerful enough to move levers in a lever lock, so I thought a regulated and variable air-stream, one for each lever and one for the bolt. I mean, if I could get NASA involved this could work! Until then, SCRAPPED!
My Lever Lock Air Sputnik. Ready 2089.
Well, there you go - a few of my lock picking fantasies. Surely you have some? Surely you've had a thought or two about how to better improve out wonderful art. If so - let me know - if it's any good, we'll be rich! If it's not, I'll ridicule you in a future blog.